-Discussion-rant: This charming sentence is saying, as we all should know by now, that the main aim of this girl, and of any woman, is to 'seduce a guy'. That's it. No life choices, no studies, no aspirations, no dreams, apart from the utter necessity of transforming her appearance so that she's considered 'attractive', 'sexy' and 'seductive' by her crush and by men in general - which, by the way, also implies that she must change and forgo many aspects of her personality which are not considered sufficiently 'seductive'. After all, seducing a boy apparently also involves putting his needs before hers in every way and hiding who you are for his convenience - And that's why she's changing herself so radically, after all. This is no 'I don't quite fancy my style, I think I'd like a change and would appreciate advice' kind of show (and those are also pretty stereotype-ridden, by the way). This is a hardcore 'change for your man' makeover show, and they mean it.
What else is this appalling quote implying? It's, once again, also full of gender stereotyping. Not only must the girl aim to 'seduce the guy', she must 'dress like a girl' in order to achieve that. And with 'dressing like a girl' they're choosing an incredibly limited set of gendered clothing options, and also a limited set of style options, and branding those, and only those, with the words 'feminine', and 'for girls' (these usually include heels, tube skirts or dresses, and 'feminine' colours and prints, depending on whether they want to go for 'cute-girly' or for 'seductive-sexy'). Any other items are quite simply 'not for girls'- these offending 'unfeminine' items can include anything from hoodies to...any kind of comfy clothing and shoewear, really. Girls are not supposed to wear comfortable clothing, for shame, we're supposed to seduce a guy in mobility-restraining and pretty much society-compulsory skirts and high heels. Or to drown in our own natural cuteness with pink frills, depending on the occasion.
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And that is why I hate Hermione's Yule ball dress so much. I guess periwinkle blue was just too unfeminine!! In a dazzling display of irony, it was bully Pansy Parkinson who wore pink and frills in the book, but the film wanted Hermione to be cute and feminine, probably in order to remind us that she's a girl even though she's smart, logical and likes to read. The gods forbid we view her as too tomboyish for liking to read, so they had to compensate! |
This show, as many others and all other forms of media, endeavours again and again to brainwash us with an extensive set of gendered ideas and labels and categories, using not only gender bias but the subjective personal likes of the few who have the power of dictating what's 'fashionable' or 'trendy' - which, to quote Spock, in a dazzling display of logic, is what everyone else should be wearing and liking!
I consider myself a non-binary woman in this respect, so I say no to any kind of illogical gender binarism that states that something is only 'for girls' or 'for boys'. Society should have no say in what is supposed to be worn or used by women or men. Nor should it be telling me what is 'trendy' or what I should like - and that I will be the weirdo if I don't conform to that.
Let's continue xD
-Cristen selects a series of clothing she likes, while the stylist does her own choosing for her (want to guess which items will win?). Then, Cristen is forced to try on all her choices ('Show me...your favourite pieces') and have the stylist tear her apart every single time in a very offensive and very humiliating way:
Cristen
loves everything she shouldn't love. The stylist scoffs at her choices because they're
"guys' clothing" or
"not sexy enough".
Gender stereotypes? Check. Monitoring women's clothing choices? Check. Forcing someone to change their style to conform to some rubbish sexist ideals? Check.
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Cristen is always looking so mortified and apologetic for liking the clothes she likes. Just ugh. |
-And there's a lot of very offensive bashing: "
No! You look like a librarian" (An 'insult' the so-called fashionistas oh-so-love. Because reading is not cool or something). "
You look like you slept on a park bench" (thanks for being insensitive) . "
Why would you put a hoodie over a
dress?" (well, no one’s forcing
you to do it! I find dresses+hoodies to be a great combination, but
I do not force other people to wear them!).
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Now - This is what you should wear...and LIKE! Your whole life was a lie until I came to torture you! |
"Well, you know you showed me that fairly awful, childish top that Tye saw you in...This is the grown-up version". Of course, being grown-up women comes with some responsibilities, we are no longer allowed to wear what we like because, duh, we owe our body to society and men, so we should always dress for them!
-Discussion-rant: For society, you're either a ‘slut’ ("dress
more modestly or you'll get harassed!"), or ‘not girly enough’ ("be more cute and feminine, you
tomboy!"), or ‘not sexy enough’ ("you look like a librarian/nun! Show some skin!"). Everything revolves
around evaluating and objectifying women. Please notice how most guys can rock
their baggy jeans and T-shirt (clean or otherwise!) and still be considered hot and
brimming with macho sexiness. On a general basis, hardly any male is
aggressively asked to wear tight shirts and tight jeans or smart clothing such as suits on a
daily basis in order to be attractive to women. And finally, notice how we hardly ever
worry about a man not having flawless skin or even flawless hair. Scruffy
masculinity is actually pretty attractive to many. This is still a huge double
standard, and it’s not OK.
So let me take some notes: 'Wearing...hoodies...and...comfy...clothing...is...not...grown-up...or...feminine...and...I...won't...get..a man'. I hope my grown-up girl-brain copes when it comes to assimilating that information!
-Now Cristen's trying on the stylist's clothing choices, so she turns from bashing Cristen's choices and belittling her to objectifying her. Because don't be mistaken, if she's being forced to show 'curves' and cleavage, it's hardly for her self-esteem boost, but to gauge how attractive the man will find her:
"How skinny are you? Why are you hiding that
bod?" (hello, fatphobia) ; "Take your hands away! Where did these curves come
from?" (if you're not curvy you're not a woman, probably) ; "We must get these
girls out...we have to get you out of the friendzone, and this (pointing
to her cleavage) means business and it's sexy" (objectification 1.0. And the fact that it's a woman spewing all this rubbish makes my blood boil).
And Cristen's apparently a prude because she 'feels uncomfortable' about wearing shorter dresses with cleavage - '
This dress would get attention that I'm not used to', she says, to which the stylist replies:
'You've got a tiny waist, amazing boobies, little butt!'. When she repeats that she's not comfortable, the stylist says that it's good to get her out of her comfort zone, and that "
Tye's gonna die!! God!" Obviously, everything is for Tye. Not only is it invasive to force her to wear things she isn't comfortable with, please don't let these people make you think it's about her and her self-esteem.
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Remember, dear, you're wearing this dress for your man and your body is for public comsumption, OK? That's why you're dressing sexy, it's definitely not for you. |
Because hell yeah, women's bodies are objects
to be enjoyed. ‘Dress sexier so that men can ogle! But if you're being too
sexy, we'll call you a slut, don't worry’. And 'Why are you hiding that body, but let's also slim it at the right places and make it look how people want it to look, because you are never good enough and you better remember it'.
How about showing what we want when we want, with no sexist constraints? And because we want to, for ourselves, and with our own style (and this doesn’t include religion-based female-only head and body coverings, in case it’s
ambiguous, because I consider those very much in the 'sexist constrains' category and inherently misogynistic. Sue me).
-Also, "This is how I want you to be".
The damn summary of all these episodes.
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Valar, give me strength to keep on listening to this |
-I recently read about this same stylist claiming that one of the girls looked 'feminine and sexy' instead of 'like a Physics student' during her clothing makeover. Here it also looks like being and/or looking like a college student
is wrong. How interesting. I'm a physicist and was a college student, so I’m a disgrace to society in so many ways (yay!).
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You were so right, my whole life was a lie, please teach me more, oh sexist fashionista! |
-Here come the heels ('Best tip ever to give you superlong legs')! Absolutely essential. From now on, Cristen has to wear them all the time. You
don't like them? I don't care, you need to bring a guy out of the friendzone
and that means getting sexy (like getting sexy always means one limited set of gendered options, such as heels). Apparently, being ‘sexy’ means wearing painful,
mobility-free shoes, yay. And not chunky heels, no, this show loves the uncomfortable stilettos, because the most mobility impairing shit is the most feminine, I guess.
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Because you're not a woman and you won't get a man if you don't wear heels all the damn time, just like I do! |
And at the end of the shopping trip, Cristen exclaims 'I'm really happy!'. That's it, we all need a sexist stylist to change our style and teach us how to seduce a man. That's patronizing as fuck and paints women as childish beings who need supervision in order to be told what they really like.
And if we thought this makeover was getting extreme, they still have to teach Cristen 'empowerment' by learning how to objectify herself and turn Tye on in a Burlesque local, plus receive electric shocks while learning to flirt with a handful of strangers, and changing her hair and befriending make-up in the final stage of the makeover. So long way to go yet...
- Discussion-rant: Society's evaluation and objectification of women's bodies.
In case it may seem ambiguous, I'm not having a go at the stylist's choices because I'm somehow against cleavages, or showing your legs, or wearing tight dresses. I actually really like low necklines and miniskirts myself. There is nothing wrong with dressing like that. And there's also nothing wrong with a woman who genuinely likes to dress "sexy" (that is a concept with many different answers, though, depending on your personal style. 'Sexy' is definitely not always tube dress+heels, and not everyone who wears a short dress wants to be seen as 'sexy', that's usually a very male-gazy sexualizing way to see it, I think :S).
But telling someone that she MUST dress "sexy" and in a certain way to be desirable, to get a boyfriend (heteronormativity, of course) , to be noticed, to be appreciated, to be loved, basically to be accepted by society...That is WRONG. That is objectifying women. Women should not dress for men, or for anyone, for the record. They should dress for themselves. And that can involve short dresses OR Cristen's casual, baggier style. Or BOTH, depending on the day or occasion, same as I said about make-up above, because both styles are not mutually exclusive, for heaven's sake. It doesn't matter, and it shouldn't change the way we see that woman. And if you have to alter your style and dress sexy and put on heels for a man to notice you, that's not okay. Fellow women, please don’t feel like you have to do that. It really is not worth your self-esteem to view yourself like that, an object to be evaluated by men and other women.
And you know what the really sad thing is? This mentality (that a woman must dress or look a certain way on order to be noticed by men) is so ingrained in so many parts (cultures with the oppressive 'modesty mindsets' still working very much included!) that so many women genuinely try to dress for everyone else, and not for themselves. And it is so ingrained that, even if you dress "sexy" solely because you like it, most men are going to think you're doing it for them. Does it ring a bell when you decide to wear a low neckline or a short skirt simply because that day you feel like it, and you're uncomfortable when you're ogled and/or harassed in the street? Yes, rape culture and objectification and harassment is not flattering and it's not a compliment.
This mentality is bound to lower women's self-esteem instead of "boosting" it, because it means that women have a terrible pressure of looking good for anyone else and to conform to a certain style and appearance, and it really doesn't matter if you don't like it. You'll be attacked if you don't conform and you'll be objectified and harassed if you do. There's no winner.
That's yet another reason why I find these kind of 'let's change your style' shows so unhealthy and wrong.